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3 tips for guiding your children through a divorce

If you have young children, odds are that they are not fully going to understand why you are getting divorced. Some children blame themselves. Some feel insecure in a changing world. Knowing how to get them through this process is critical.

To help, here are three tips that psychologists say can make the whole thing far easier for them, focusing on their well-being:

1. Speak to them through your actions.

It's one thing to tell your children that you still love them and that that will never change. They do need to hear it. But you also want to reinforce those statements by acting it out. Spend quality time with them. Keep your promises. Give them hugs and attention. Show them how much you care.

2. Reassure them about their fears.

Don't tell them that the divorce is not their fault once and assume you're done with it. Tell them repeatedly. Reassure them any time they bring it up. This is something both you and your spouse need to do. Go beyond what you think is necessary to make sure they really get it.

3. Choose your words carefully.

It is often best not to have spur-of-the-moment conversations about divorce. Once you say something, even if you don't mean it or you realize it was wrong, it's out there. Plan these conversations in advance. Really think about what you say and how it will impact the kids. Remember how important this is for them.

These tips can help you work with your children. Make sure you also take the time to look into your own rights and your legal options so the process goes smoothly for everyone.

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