Although children usually have nothing to do with the decision to divorce, they are often the ones who suffer the most. Here are some tips on how to focus on your children during this difficult time.
If you can, stay out of court
Divorce court is often a battle of egos. It can be expensive and time-consuming, often leaving both parties feeling angry and resentful. If you can reach an agreement with your spouse outside of court, it will be better for everyone involved, especially your children. For instance, you can consider mediation or collaborative divorce.
If you absolutely have to go to court, try to keep the proceedings as civil and quick as possible. It’s not fair to put your children through a lengthy and acrimonious divorce.
Don’t use your children as pawns
Your children should not be used as bargaining chips in the divorce. They love both of their parents and should not have to choose sides. Unfortunately, this is a common tactic used by one or both parties in a divorce. If you are feeling vengeful toward your spouse, try to remember that it is your children who will suffer the most if you involve them in this manner.
Keep the lines of communication open
Your children will have a lot of questions during this time, and they should feel like they can come to you with anything. Make sure to answer their questions honestly and without anger. It’s also important to listen to what they have to say. They may be feeling scared, confused or even guilty about the divorce, and they need to know that it’s not their fault.
Don’t shy away from seeking professional help if you need it
If you or your children are having a hard time dealing with the divorce, don’t be afraid to seek professional help. There are many counselors and therapists who specialize in helping families through this type of situation.
If you follow these tips, you can help your children get through the divorce with as little pain as possible. Remember, they are going through a tough time too, and they need your love and support more than ever.